SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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