i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
