there was a trapeze. enough said
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
