I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
