I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
