He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I cockslap morals
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
