A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
