Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
