It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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