Your tits are I can't wait for
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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