i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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