Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The air taste purple.
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