My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I have tasted many bathrooms
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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