OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
