I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
