Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
