he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
