I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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