THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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