Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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