have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
