my vag is so smooth its legendary
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
