I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
