dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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