Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
