hotel room ftw
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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