chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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