I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
