Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
