i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My balls are so social today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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