You're completely useless in the revolution.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
