ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
