Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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