Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
this beer tastes like vomit already
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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