you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
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If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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