My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
