I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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