Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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