She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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