A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
