I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
