No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Randomize
