I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
