Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
