She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
