I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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