I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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