I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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