All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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