if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it glows. i had to have it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
