well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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