im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
