Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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