Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
