Screwed.edu
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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