He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
