well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
