Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize