she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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