bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
