Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
