Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize