just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
