It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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