I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
