SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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