If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
