ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
