its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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